Over-analysing

I am analysing over-analysing.  I dont think it gets much worse, especially at 5am when all you want to do is sleep and there are no Nytol in your drawer.





Over-analysing - Good vs Bad?

Good

• over-analysing helps my mind to process things quickly to find solutions to the problem or part of the problem
• it leads me to try new things
• we have had some great holidays because of the amount of research i do to find what we want
• constant self-evaluation
• great conversations with like-minded friends

Bad

• it can be exhausting
• constant self-evaluation
• I can over analyse things that dont need it
• it can lead to procrastination - too much thinking and not enough doing
• I sometimes dont let things run their natural course

Writing this reminds me of running my stress management business a few years ago and having a problem with Striving versus Non-Striving.

How do you run a business, develop a business, get clients, help clients, and make enough money to live life - without striving?  It was a complete dilemma and it eventually drove me nuts, I packed in that business as it became more successful (and all-consuming).  Imagine what Alan Sugar would have said to that one (but then he wasnt a mother to a small child and have a partner that also worked full time). I probably needed a slap and a bit of external help, the business was doing well.  But instead with the support of my husband and family I let it go, took a year off, simplified my life and licked my wounds.  Best thing I ever done, it saved my life.

In that year of non-striving I became more present with my actual life, I hung out with my lovely family without thinking of the next client,  I breathed a lot (awareness), I sat in the garden and just watched the grass grow, I read books for pleasure, I let go and I slowed down, and most importantly, I found some balance.  It was a simple and luxurious time for me and its nice to remember it at this time of resolutions, and its also a good lesson for today - practice Wu Wei (the Way of Non-Striving).

Difficult to do when you are a natural over-analyser.  Difficult to do when you are not!

Its still a dilemma - how do I get to Disneyland, lose a stone, get my shower fixed and move to France without striving. Oh yeah...I remember, just simply by paying attention, slowing down, and breathing, and I can chuck a smile into that mix too.

Wu Wei - It is action without striving, without trying. It is more like natural action. Action that fits in the flow of situation, is appropriate to the objective reality, and harmonises, supports and balances the many relationships we have around us.

A note on the word harmony.  It has always been a trigger for me for feeling that all is as it should be.  I was once taught to choose a feeling and to meditate on that feeling to cultivate it. It works.  Today I am choosing harmony.  What are you choosing?





 

Newness

Decided to start this blog today.  A spontaneous decision.

I bought 'The Happiness Project' by Gretchen Rueben in December and have found that it is working, im happier.   The advice is practical, it has made me think about what is important to me and I am doing all the little niggling tasks that have been bugging me for weeks, months, years!  Result.  Nothing else I have read has even got me near to that, although it could be said Im in the right place for it now.  When the student is ready the teacher appears.

In addition to that, after a visit to my local library for a kids book, I had a little stroll around and saw a book that caught my attention.  How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Dr. Paul Hauck, what a guy.  Having been a self help coach for the past 2 years, and a stress advisor prior to that, I have read many books on self development, self improvement, self awareness etc.  This book really hits the mark for me, a no-nonsense approach.

Its time to stop being wishy washy and start making the changes I need to make to change my life for the better.

At this point I would like to add, that I dont have a horrible life, Im not sad, Im reasonably healthy, I have great friends, know how to let my hair down, I could be doing with more money, as could most of us.  I have heating, hot water, food, a roof over my head and a wonderful family and for all of that I am very grateful.

But......I have been wishy washy for long enough, there a things I want to do.  I want to look after my health better, I want to lose a stone in weight, I want to take my kid to Disneyland in Florida, I want to have less clutter, I want to stop buying things that I dont need, I want to fix my shower which has been faulty for a year, I want to move to France! and I honestly believe that if I start with fixing my shower this will help me get to France.

These things take a new awareness, I have been looking through the same eyes for too long, and although there are lots of things I see, for example, I am trained to be aware of my thinking, good and bad, and sometimes I choose to change unhelpful thinking and sometimes I wallow in it, but I know Im doing it, its my choice.  I have been lucky enough to spend a lot of time on a beautiful island meditating with psychiatrists and buddhist monks, I have met amazing people, and have the most gorgeous friends with amazing spirit and compassion.   I know what happens when feelings come up...and go back down...and come up again...it eventually sets you free.  But this awarness I need is different.  I need to actually see what is around me.

This is going to take practice, being in the present and having the energy to change.

Spontaneous, spur of the moment decisions....so they still have a place among my new strategy of starting a plan and sticking to it.  Let see where I end up.  This is my new project jotter.